


dead roses

by yonggii



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, alternative universe, lapslock, sorry for the bad tags lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonggii/pseuds/yonggii
Summary: "he’s stubborn. they both are. too stubborn to forgive, too stubborn to forget, too stubborn to let go, too stubborn to move on. too stubborn to cave in"neither dongyoung or taeyong can get over each other.





	dead roses

**Author's Note:**

> warning(s) for general sad vibes and nearly nonexistant alluding to sex. it's kind of vague so you can read between the lines, but i was listening to idfc by blackbear when i wrote this, so maybe that helps set the mood. (769 words)

as soon as taeyong hears his phone vibrate against the coffee table (he had never been once for noisy ringtones), he runs to his front door. the vibration, named heartbeat, is only set for one person in his phone. oddly enough, it’s the only vibration that makes his own heartbeat quicken every time he hears it, but he’s long since convinced himself that it’s completely unrelated to the contact he has it set for. 

“you’re here.” taeyoung breathes out deeply after he’s opened the door. almost like he’s surprised his guest actually showed up again. almost.

“i am.” dongyoung answers blankly. he had always been good at covering up his emotions when he wanted to. “what’s up?”

“nothing,” taeyong answers too quickly, “i just… you know.”

“yeah. i know.” dongyoung confirms, sounding just as disinterested as ever. but his eyes stare at taeyong so openly, never leaving the older’s face. if taeyong stares back, he may see something familiar hidden behind dongyoung’s irises. but he doesn’t. taeyong never looks dongyoung in the eye anymore.

there’s one too many beats of an awkward silence. the pregnant pauses seem to prolong with each visit, but neither boy mentions it. that’d be awkward, and this whole thing is already weird (painful) enough.

“let’s go, then.” it’s dongyoung who initiates something, even though he’s the one standing outside of taeyong’s apartment, waiting to be invited in. there’s an odd mix of a familiar heaviness and a strange emptiness in his chest. the sooner he can distract himself from it, the better.

“yeah, ok.” taeyong agrees as he steps aside. 

dongyoung enters without hesitation now, pushing past taeyong and heading straight for the older’s bedroom. taeyong follows him immediately, hardly remembering to close his front door behind him.

-

afterwards, they lie naked on taeyong’s now dirtied sheets. he’ll have to wash them as soon as dongyoung leaves or he won’t be able to sleep. they don’t touch, leaving just enough distance between each other for the awkwardness to resurface. dongyoung should leave now, but he doesn’t. he can’t, yet. just a few more minutes.

“do you ever miss us?” taeyong asks so quietly dongyoung considers pretending like he didn’t hear. but he knows taeyong will ask again, louder next time, if he does. for some reason, taeyong had never been able to leave scabs alone.

“i don’t know.” dongyoung answers. taeyong shuffles so that his back is facing dongyoung, but he doesn’t cry yet.

“are you sure?” taeyong presses.

“i don’t know.”

he’s stubborn. they both are. too stubborn to forgive, too stubborn to forget, too stubborn to let go, too stubborn to move on. too stubborn to cave in. to themselves. to each other

“i miss us.” taeyong admits so quietly that dongyoung has to strain his ears to hear him. if the apartment wasn’t so uncomfortably quiet (aside from dongyoung’s nearly thunderous heartbeat, which pounds in his own ears), he wouldn’t have even noticed that taeyong spoke.

the sun is close to setting now, its last rays peeking through taeyong’s thin curtains. it’s all that illuminates the otherwise unlit bedroom. dongyoung wishes that it was darker, that he couldn’t see the outline of taeyong’s small frame where it covers his view of the window. he wishes that the sun wasn’t so stubborn, that its rays would just disappear. at least for the day. but then again, dongyoung is too stubborn to close his eyes.

“sometimes.” dongyoung admits, too. he feels something coming up his throat, something like vomit, but he swallows it down (stubbornly). 

it’s too late. he’s lost his chance anyways, he can hear taeyong’s small cries beginning now. it’s his cue to leave.

his throat burns as he rises from the bed. his hands sting as he drags his jeans up each leg. his eyes throb as he pulls his shirt over his head. his teeth chatter as he steps into each shoe. he wants to cover his ears so that he can't hear taeyong's weeping, to scream until his lungs heave, or maybe pull at his hair until his scalp bleeds. but he doesn’t. he can’t. it’s too late.

“tell me if you need me.” dongyoung forces out. he’s standing right in front of taeyong’s bedroom door, but he doesn’t reach for the knob, not yet. he’s so stubborn. instead, he stands with his back to taeyong (where the older still lies in his bed), listening to his sobs. dongyoung can’t even look at him. he’s so, so stubborn.

taeyong says nothing. he’s so, so, so fucking stubborn, too.

dongyoung leaves for now, but he know he’ll be back.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah sorry that it was short and probably trash, but thanks for reading! constructive criticism is appreciated <3


End file.
